why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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