I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
