She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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