Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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