he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
