Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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