I just saw a hot homeless man
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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