Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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