Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
