Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
