Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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