Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we're so committed to being not committed
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize