No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
