Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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