please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
