So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
