Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
