last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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