i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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