just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
