It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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