Where are you?
In a non slutty way
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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