So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
