in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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