my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
