she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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