The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Your mouth is God's brothel.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
