so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
