i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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