Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
