stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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