I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
