You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
