The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
