I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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