If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
