Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Randomize
