I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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