Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
