Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
