I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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