I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
