i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
