My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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