the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
