that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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