i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
