Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
