No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
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just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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