shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
