Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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