it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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