whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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