I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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