so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
