Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
