ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need a beard to bite.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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