he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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