Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
