I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
