His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize