I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
